


Crazy Talk

by wheel_pen



Series: Lucy [8]
Category: Smallville
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-24
Updated: 2013-04-24
Packaged: 2017-12-09 08:23:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/772103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wheel_pen/pseuds/wheel_pen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lionel tries to intimidate Lucy. It doesn’t work so well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crazy Talk

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Lucy, my original character, is Clark’s cousin on the Kent side. Although human she may have some strange psychic powers and definitely has some issues in her past. She’s having a tough time with her mom and goes to live with Jonathan and Martha for a while. She and Lex form a relationship.
> 
> 2\. In my world, Lex eventually becomes President. And his staff is from The West Wing. 
> 
> 3\. I started writing this series during the third season of Smallville, so it diverges from canon then or earlier.
> 
> 4\. Underage warning: This story may contain human or human-like teenagers, in high school, in sexual situations.
> 
> 5\. The bad words are censored. That’s just how I do things.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this AU. I own nothing and appreciate the chance to play in this universe.

            Lucy was barefoot, sprawled across Lex’s lap on the couch, trying to read the play she’d been assigned for literature class. It was hard to stay focused on the dry text, though, especially with Lex absently running his hand up and down her spine as he read his own novel. _Oedipus Rex_ had sounded so much more interesting when Lex had described it to her, but now that she was actually fighting her way through the old-fashioned language and ancient writing style, Lucy suspected he just liked _anything_ where the plot involved killing one’s father.

            Speaking of which… “Your dad’s coming,” she announced suddenly, and she felt him tense beneath her immediately.

            “When?”

            Lucy squinted, as if that actually helped sharpen the clarity of something in her mind. “Really soon,” was all she could offer.

            There was a polite knock on the lounge door and Enrique poked his head in. “Excuse me, sir,” he began, “but your father’s car just pulled in through the gate.”

            “Thank you, Enrique,” Lex replied without turning. “Show him in when he arrives.” When he heard the doors shut behind his butler he glanced down at Lucy. “Maybe you could expand the radius of that alarm system a little more?” he suggested dryly.

            “Maybe you could just post watchmen on all the roads around here,” she responded snidely, starting to straighten up.

            Lex put a restraining hand on her back. “Stay where you are.”

            Lucy sighed and settled back down. Okay, so Lex wanted to prove he didn’t care what his dad thought. But then later Lex was going to get mad that his father had made some obnoxious remarks about Lucy being in such an intimate position when Lionel arrived. Lucy decided she didn’t need to be reading Greek tragedies… she had one going on around her all the time.

            Lionel burst in through the lounge doors with his usual flare, long hair and coat billowing behind him. Someday Lucy was going to ask him where he kept the wind machine.

            “Lex!” he began heartily, then stopped short and narrowed his eyes when he noticed Lucy. “The weather outside is beautiful, son,” he continued, and Lex finally looked at him, confused by the small talk. “But if you’re truly cold, I’m sure I could find you an afghan instead.”

            Lucy gave Lionel a killer smile while Lex gritted his teeth. “Hello, Mr. Luthor,” she said politely. “How was your trip?”

            “Highly productive, as usual, Miss Kent,” Lionel replied, sweeping his coat off and making himself comfortable in a nearby chair. “Why don’t you make yourself useful to me and get me a drink?”

            “She’s not supposed to be useful to _you_ , Dad,” Lex countered, sounding a bit sullen. Even for him it was a cool greeting.

            Lionel seemed, as always, vaguely amused. “Well then,” he decided easily, “perhaps _you_ would pour your father a drink, Lex. Since your little lapdog is really too young to be handling alcohol anyway.”

            Lex reminded himself that he couldn’t afford to get angry at his father _this_ early in the visit, before the old man had even revealed the purpose for it. And, he _had_ insisted Lucy stay on the couch, after all. So, Lex merely snapped his book shut, laid it aside, and stood when Lucy had maneuvered herself off his lap. At least the liquor stand was _behind_ the chair his father had chosen, meaning Lex could escape his probing gaze for a few moments. Although, now Lionel was looking at _Lucy_ as a snake might a small desert rodent quivering near a cactus. Lex kept an eye on them.

            “Miss Kent,” Lionel started, rolling the name around in his mouth as if tasting it. Lex forced himself to relax his crushing grip on the brandy bottle. Lucy merely blinked patiently. “I had an interesting visitor in my office this week.”

            “Oh.” Lucy had no idea if he was even talking to her, although he was looking at her. Lionel liked to do that sometimes, to throw people off. “Anyone I know?” Because Lucy, of course, knew people like the mayor of Metropolis, the governor of Kansas, the President of the United States…

            “Your mother.” From Lex, who was taking an _awfully_ long time with that drink behind him, Lionel got only a moment of tension before the ice continued being dropped in the glass. Lucy, however, tossed her book aside and nearly had to scrape her jaw up off the couch cushions.

            “My _mom_?” she repeated incredulously. “Why would my _mom_ come to see _you_?”

            Lex had decided he couldn’t stall any longer and he roughly handed his father his drink before sitting back down. He could imagine _exactly_ why Lucy’s mother had gone to the LuthorCorp offices. Lex suspected his father would find the whole thing more entertaining than irritating, but Lex wasn’t sure he liked that idea better.

            “She was apparently under the impression that you and my son had involved her in a… _conspiracy_ ,” Lionel said the word with delight, “to continue your less-than-advisable relationship during those weekends which are allegedly devoted to visiting _her_ in Metropolis.” Lex sighed and leaned his head back on the couch. Lucy’s mother actually spent _more_ time with her now than before Lex had entered the picture. Even a woman with as busy a social calendar as Elise Kent could spare a few hours one weekend a month to take her only child on a shopping spree… courtesy of Lex, of course. “She approached me as a _concerned parent_ ,” Lionel went on, and Lex snorted, “in the hope that I might be able to put her mind further at ease regarding your conduct with Lex.”

            Lucy had been around the Luthors too long; she knew exactly what he meant. “My _mom_ tried to shake you down?” she exclaimed, jostling Lex in her excitement. He put his arm around her to settle her and only afterwards thought about how his father would perceive the gesture. “No way! How embarrassing.”

            It was not exactly the reaction Lionel had expected. “Embarrassing” was leaving copies of Lex’s baby pictures lying around the house when he brought his first girlfriend home. Surely one’s mother asking your boyfriend’s father for money to keep quiet about your relationship was a little higher on the scale.

            Lionel decided he would have to press a little harder on the potential wound. “Lex, I’m surprised at you,” he admonished lightly, sipping his drink. “I would have thought you’d taken care of this… issue sufficiently already.”

            “I did, Dad,” Lex replied easily, then shrugged. “Mrs. Kent seemed happy enough the last time I talked to her, anyway.” He stopped short of actually using the word “bribed,” since Lucy was in the room.

            But she knew what he meant. “She wants a new car,” Lucy told them matter-of-factly. “I told her it was stupid, because her old car is perfectly fine. And a red BMW would look a _little_ out of place parked in front of her apartment building.” She squirmed until she had a leg draped over Lex’s, apparently a more comfortable position. “You didn’t give her the car, did you?” she asked of Lionel.

            He pursed his lips. “We managed to arrive at a… mutually beneficial arrangement.”

            Lex widened his eyes fractionally, hoping his father really didn’t mean the first thing that came to mind. There were so many layers to Lionel’s speech sometimes it was hard to be sure. Lucy, however, gasped in horror. “ _You slept with my mother_?” she shrieked, her expression registering utter disgust.

            Lionel actually pulled back a bit from the outburst. “I did not say that,” he protested coolly. As if that meant anything.

            Lucy was busy making retching noises. “That’s _so_ gross,” she exclaimed, giving Lionel a once-over with fresh eyes. “Just _nasty_!”

            Lionel’s eyes flickered over to his son, who was rubbing Lucy’s shoulder comfortingly with one hand and attempting to conceal his smirk with the other. “Lex,” he began with some irritation, “I had, perhaps erroneously, assumed that although you chose to keep company with a teenager she would at least possess a _slightly_ higher level of maturity.”

            “Well, I’m sure she doesn’t mean to insult you, Dad,” Lex assured him insincerely. “It’s just that the thought of you… getting it on with Lucy’s mom… in your office… on your desk—“ Lucy sounded as though she were trying to cough a hairball out of her throat—an extremely unpleasant noise, to Lionel’s ears. “—well, it’s kind of nauseating. Just in general.”

            “I did not sleep with her mother,” Lionel insisted, a little more warmly. He was really not accustomed to this kind of behavior in his presence. Who did this girl think he was, anyway?

            “I think we both grasp _that_ fact, Dad,” Lex replied, thoroughly unhelpful. “I’m sure you only had time to flip your couch cushions over”—a noise reminiscent of all the air being squeezed out of her chest emanated from the teenage girl—“and double-check your fly”—Lucy rolled over, feet in Lex’s lap, and attempted to gag herself over the side of the sofa—“before you had to go to your next meeting. No time to sleep.”

            Lionel glared at his son over the girl’s wildly swinging bare legs. “Lex—“ The younger man merely grinned back, as if he were doing his best to assist in the situation. “Young lady, I order you to _cease_ making those noises—“

            “Can’t get… _image_ … out of… head,” Lucy gasped, in her best Captain Kirk impression. Lionel wouldn’t get it, of course, but Lex was biting the inside of his cheek. “Psychotic episode… _approaching_ …”

            Lex took that as his signal and stood, scooping her up over his shoulder. “Lex, where the h—l do you think you’re going?” Lionel demanding, jumping to his feet. Perhaps the girl’s insanity was contagious, somehow.

            “She has to take her medication now, Dad,” Lex replied seriously, over the little high-pitched noises Lucy was making. “Otherwise, she might have some kind of— _fit_ , you know, perhaps something involving sharp objects. Definitely a hospital visit…”

            “Lex, I need to talk to you—“ Lionel called after him, but his son was already at the doors to the lounge.

            “Oh, sure, Dad,” he said accommodatingly. “Right after I put Lucy to bed. Shouldn’t take more than… thirty minutes.” He glanced at the denim-clad rear-end squirming beside his head. “Maybe forty-five. Make yourself at home.”

            Leaving his father fuming in the lounge, Lex carted Lucy out in the hallway. The two of them were almost to his bedroom before they let out the laughter they’d been holding back, but Lionel swore he could hear them anyway.


End file.
